not that i hadn’t learnt any. perhaps i invested too much uncompensated time, effort and emotion in the past, this time, i’m more careful. i know, deep down, i’m not the delicious piece of bait.
well thoughts are thoughts. these few days i got all sorted out with all possible ‘what ifs’. just pointless comical run through, struggles and tension all within my mind alone. good, great, chillin meditation. can’t help it, it just happened.
i know its not worth it to all you people out there. then don’t toy with people’s emotions you all assholes. first it was three years ago. if i was asked to stay, prob all will be different. thing is, i wasn’t. so i left. got a proper job…settled in…
then now, it happened again. now i have no where to run. how? what am i to do? surrounded by cowards. arghh fml so much.
whatever comes whatever goes. i’m not investing anymore of my emotions. i’m trusting in God. waiting on him for answers. i’m not gonna betray my faith but be who i’m.
as flattering as it feels right now, it’s all fake. it’s not prada, not gold, just some suspense worth imitating.
i will continue to trust and pray. and i will not betray my faith. will not. no matter how unhappy i’m with what doctrines teaches.